As I Promised...

So this has been a fun week filled many exciting adventures... (*coughs* bullshit *coughs*)

so first of all, a little while ago you might remember me tell you about my trilby hat well i have pics ^^

(this is me thinking i look like a fool, but i don't care cause i have a hat and you dont :P)

then i promised a few of you pics of the stitches, so here they are

the spot in question... (dum, dum, dum daaaaahhhhh!!! *dramatic music*)

i have my first exam on 8:30am tuesday AEST so im going to go now...

.

have fun, stay safe ;)

49 things i miss about being with someone

I miss…

• The touch of your hands
• The touch of your lips
• The touch (you get the idea)
• The smell
• The closeness
• The understanding
• The love
• The connection
• The enthusiasm
• The cuddles
• The kisses
• The conversations
• The silly moments
• The funny moments
• The not so funny moments
• The intimate moments
• The way I missed you when we were apart
• The way you talk
• The way you move
• The way you feel
• The way you care
• The way you listen
• The way you are
• The way you aren’t someone else
• The way you grounded me
• The way I get lost in your eyes
• The way I cant help but shower you with kisses cause you’re so beautiful
• The way your heartbeat matched mine when we lay together
• The way your breathing matched mine when we lay together
• The way you’d make me smile when ever your around
• The way you’d come to me when you needed help
• The way you’d comfort me when I was stressed
• The way you stood up for me
• The way you challenged me
• The ability to say nothing and just be
• Taking walks
• Holding hands
• Going places without a clue where we are going
• Seeing movies
• Forgiving you just because
• Your heart beat
• Eating out
• Eating in
• That I could see you so often and still want to see you some more
• When you called just to say I love you
• Having showers with you
• The things we planned
• The things we didn’t plan

i even miss

• The way I used to find your hair all over my jumper

Study

Study, Study, Study.

if only the rest of the year was like this...

:)



P.S.

i wont be saying this on the day of the exam, Bahahahaha!!!

Very quick post

Because i've finished assignmenting..

i still have exams and project to deal with to be content so no rest for me, must keep moving, though since my last couple of posts i have been thinking a lot about where i am at the moment and what i want... and i came up with a very strange list. Now at the same time i have a friend who got a boyfriend recently, which seems to be the latest of a trend of all my friends lately. i had a look at this list and i noticed that i was actually quite lonely.

all of the things that i was thinking about, talking about, reading about and writing about were about relationships. but the thing is i have no time with which to play and get to know people in because it always seem like im doing something or going somewhere, i have never really settled in one place for too long.

funnily enough i have allways done that with friends aswell i can only remember one point in my life where i had more than one friend, you know the kind of friend that you talk to all the time, see all the time do stuff with. now i dont really have have friends...

although come to think of it, i have 2 but that doesnt count, cause one i go to uni with and the other i went to school with and lives up the road (but hardly ever see cause too busy).

so anyway back to no friends... i have what i like to call acquaintances, cause i have met you once, twice or a whole bunch of times but nothing really happens with it for some reason there is like a force field or a wall between us, given the opportunity i would love to hang around with heaps of people but like i said it just doesnt happen.

in any case my need for closeness has deminished as i have learned to deal with all the crap emotions that come right out when you push the right buttons and that has made quite introverted once again, every thing i have to say just come out superficial

e.g.

what ya doin?
your dress looks nice
how's things?
oh yeh!! thats pretty awesome
cool...

and thats what the conversation consists of just a repeat of those and similar phrases, but i can't help it i try to engage people but when i do i always think im being a nuisance so i finish upwhat im saying and leave or change the topic.

whats worse is that because i have no time im spending more and more time interacting with total strangers on the net because i get at least some level of connection. compared to my normal life. i mean just a comparison when i had just broken up with my last girlfriend i had nothing on the net at all. because all my attention was on her and thats as simple as it got. i didnt care cause i had someone more important to me than anything else.

but when it was taken away it left me very open, i used to be one to wear my heart on my sleeve,and when you spend every spare second with some one and then its gone there is a huge void..

void fixers internet/alcohol, i joined qut motorsport i joined engineers without borders i joined a million things just to fill the void... and fill the void it did. but having done all of that i found that i had spread my self to thin and didnt want to let everybody down so i overworked myself almost to the point of no return but at least it distracted me from the reality of what i was actually feeling. becaus little did i realise that the void was eating away at me especially since i pretty much spent all my other time drinking. At one point i remember drinking everyday for a month or 2 and that was just time gone like that i did nothing i contributed nothing i acheived nothing i studied i worked and i drank...

now its not an addiction cause i dont need it infact i have not had a drink now for that past 2 months. and im fine but my point is its not like its going to stop me from drinking later.

so now i am aware of my void (just to pull this post back on track) and i will post my list later when i get the time and then ou can judge for yourself. i just fear for all my wants and needs that i am never going to find someone willing to be with me. im sure if people actually got to know me they would know that im as easy goin as they come and for some reason i seem to bend over backwards to other peoples needs. maybe im too eagar to please. not that its a conscious thing.

i just have no one to bounce things off i guess.. that would probably explain the introvertedness, i've had a thought... that if i dont have anyone to talk to then i turn to myself and if i turn to myself i tend not to consider what others think. cause im the only that "matters". because nobody else cares.

as selfish as that sounds that how i see it.

i will continue this later

one last thing...

the person who said it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all was pulling out of their arse.

1. ignorance is bliss
2. the only thing better than ignorance is love itself

which leaves love lost at the bottom of the list, the shittest place to be

ahhh!!! im being consumed by the antilove

night ;)

CTU #2

well i have 4 assignments down and 1 to go due on friday....

this last one is on lubrication of a gear box i designed.

after that i have an exam on the 4th and then exams on the 11th, 12th and 13th.

obviously anyone who has been reading my posts will know that my project had won it grant and now many things have to be done to complete it.

i had a spot on my back checked today, turns out i have to get it cut out, just incase. :( it just means stiches :( x2. which means no streching my back which in turn means no gym, no parkour and no streching..... whyyyyyyyyy!!! not the stretching....

anywho i got an opportunity to work for a company called BCA so that would be good if i could get that.

i almost got to do back saults on the floor, soon i will do them outside and then there wil be no stopping me, ill be doing back saults left right and center. next thing gainers..... ;)

dont know what a gainer is watch this

i think thats is all for now, sorry that my posts are becoming sparse, uni is taking control of my life :(

An Explination

this is in realtion to my last post, and i heard a song just then by colin hay that was almost exactly spot on with what i was talking about, so here are the lyrics that i have edited slightly. i would suggest reading it normally and not like lyrics.

I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say

I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over It

I'm no longer moved to drink strong whisky
'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over It

Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years

But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over It
If I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over It

very mediocre post

To Munchkinhugs

i know you probably wont get this on the day but just incase you do...


i want to wish you a very happy birthday and all best of fun, even though its uni time and very close to exams. i hope you love the shoes which seemed quite epic to find. if i could i would get you a present but its not so easy to do, being up here and all that jazz. i would give you the rubiks cube the swiss ball or heros season 1,2 and 3 if you were coming to conference, but you said you dont like presents. so i dont know if you want them, ill send them back with someone.

So have a good day / hope you had a good day (just incase you dont get it on the day)

Hugs and Kisses, because you will always be my indian, and i your horse mat

**************************************************

P.S for some reason i always remember you as my indian, running around like idiots

ohh and just incase you didnt know my kisses are like the cheek kiss thing kisses's

Don't you just wish??

alright here is another one of those things that sort of relates, the only difference is that this is i song i heard recently, that i remember so well, because i used to sing it to my last girlfriend. look how well that worked out...


jack johnsons Better together

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart,
our dreams, and they are made out of real things
like a shoebox of photographs
with sepia-toned loving
Love is the answer
at least for most of the questions in my heart, like
Why are we here?
And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together

Mmmm, It's always better when we're together
Yeah we'll look at the stars and we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments
just might find their way into my dreams tonight,
But I know that they’ll be gone
when the morning light sings
and brings new things
for tomorrow night you see
that they’ll be gone too,too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
i was somewhere in between
With only two,
Just me and you,
Not so many things we got to do
or places we got to be
We'll sit beneath the mango tree, now,

Yeah It's always better when we're together
Mmmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

mmmmmmm

I believe in memories
they look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
There is no, no song I could sing
and there is no combination of words I could say
but I will still tell you one thing
We're Better together

ok so you'll probably notice my song choices have been very heartbreak themed, let me tell you why..

it all started with my last girlfriend,we were the best of friends before we got together. it was something that just happened, it just came all together one day. you know spur of the moment thing. we spent no more than 4 days apart during this relationship. and it was awesome for like the first two years, but after that i think we had just been a couple too long cause everything was routine and we were having fights at all of that jazz that usuall people have. The most of all why can't you move in? and i thought why should i? i lived down the street from her. so i would be with her only i would be spending shitloads more to do it. i would be exactly the same distance from work and uni so i saw no benefit. anyway so it got to exam time and she says "oh mark is going to take me for a ride on his bike" (mark is/was her 47 year old flat mate)
i thought fine, you know i have to study for exams and all that. so skip forward a couple of days to the day before the exam which starts at 8:30 the next morning. this is the last chance to cram before the exam. she comes to my house crying just before i was about to leave and tells me that they had sex that morning and that she was really sorry

WTF???

why the hell would she come and tell me??? anyway so i sucked it up and said whatever i need to study and off i went, suprisingly it was a fairly productive day. but exam day i was a complete wreck i have no idea why i thought it was a good idea to go to the exam. i failed that subject miserably. anyway apparently we were still together and stuff and apparently thats what she really wanted, so i thought, ok she made a mistake, why not? big mistake number one.

i was going to portugal in week not to mention that it was our third aniversery in four days so we kept doing what we normally do, and it gets to that day i leave.. all hugs and kisses but just the thought of him and her had become etched into my mind, so for the month i was there i cried myself to sleep everyday i was there but she said she wanted it to work and i thought why shouldn't i believe her? big mistake number two

so while i was traveling across the country, i was collecting things to give her to tell her about all these places. anyway its the day i get back and i could not contain myself, i drove over there straight away with all my presents. when i got there she answered the door and said in these exact words

"ohhh!! what are you doing here?"

my heart sank...

but i thought we arrived early so she might not have expected me so early big mistake number three. she came out and had a look at all my stuff. you know hugs and kisses all around and them tells me they have been sleeping together while i was away....

i cant remember what happened after that, i had arrived one week into the semester so it was straight back to work. all i can remeber is further crying myself to sleep for the next months.

anyway, pretty much around the time i stopped feeling absolute shit she calls me and says i want to see you, cause she wants to be friends and blah blah blah...

and i believed her, my biggest mistake yet

but it kept going like that for months all through which she would say stuff like what if we got back together?

one day i just got rid of all her photos, clothes, messeges, contacts everything that i could find that belonged to her.

and thats it i saw a glimse of her once in the city since.


After all that i was emotionally screwed up.

unfortunately now everytime i meet someone i even remotely like, i shutdown and hide or make the biggest ass out of myself. and i have no friends that are girls, that i talk to all the time anymore and im becoming less and less able to hold a conversation with girls that dont know me.

ohh and for all those that know me as a big drinker, i was actually as dry as a bone before about the time that i got rid of all her stuff

so the lyrics i put in this post are actually a more love than heartbreak because i think im get my romantic back ;). as much as telling that story hurts (i'm tearing at the moment)

i have made a list, its sort of a love wish list. A combination of what i loved about being with someone and what i would like so ill put that up soon.

thank you for reading if you made it this far down
have a good night, sleep well, sweet dreams to all
hugs and kisses to all the girls and a manly hand shake for all the guys

Bahahahaha!!!

Fuck Yeh!!!!!

todays post was supposed to be about poverty in support of blog action day but instead i am going to tell you that i succesfully raised $30k to help the empoverished people of PNG, speciffically in their health system...

i am currently running an engineers without borders project that aims to do this. link in the sidebar-------(thataway)------>>>

this allows us to build ties with the community in order to develop a partnership where by we can give them what they need/want (rather than dumping useless or over technical things on them), teach them how to use and maintain what we give them so they are less reliant on us and more reliant on their own community

remember poverty is something we can help... whether it be just a simple blog today, or following a cause like mine do your bit and the world will be a better place for it.

something i heard once (dont know where it is from)

"you may feel like a drop in the ocean, but the ocean would be less if it weren't for that one drop"

good night people

Bloggers, Read This!!!

all bloggers i found something in my internet travelsand think you should help us out for a good cause.....

the first thing i want to show you is http://blogactionday.org/

"
On October 15th bloggers everywhere will publish posts that discuss poverty in some way. By all posting on the same day we aim to change the conversation that day, to raise awareness, start a global discussion and add momentum to an important cause.

Every blogger has a unique voice, audience and perspective. By speaking to their readers on topic about an important issue we can discuss global issues like poverty in a new and hugely multi-faceted way. And from discussion springs action.
"

the second http://unite.blogcatalog.com/participate/

"Why Should You Participate?
The bloggers of bloggers unite have created what is the only global blog initiative designed to harness expression in support of human rights and issues in need of highlight. Refugees United is the only online, highly secure and anonymous possibility of refugees to reconnect with family. "

the same thing except on the 10th of november talking about refugees

ive done my bit for now by placing to little image links in the sidebar and will be discussing these issues on the day


So..... Do your bit, join in and help make an impact on the world in a different way

add the links, tell everyone and most of all post on the day, and let everyone know to have the biggest impact. the more people that join in the more people we will reach :D

scheduled post success

T'was a success,

so i decided to make this post an hour after the previous just for my entertainment

:D

scheduled posts

i have found that you maybe able to post stuff and then give a date to be published

im testing it to try and work out what actualy happens

hopefully by the time you get this it will actually be in a couple of days after i wrote it


...... so here it goes

Hey there....

i havent done this for a while but these lyrics struck a cord with me i thought i might share

I know what I said
Was heat of the moment
But theres a little truth in between the words we've spoken
Its a little late now to fix the heart thats broken
Please don't ask me where I'm going
Cause I don't know
No I don't know anymore

It used to feel like heaven
Used to feel like may
I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony
Now they've gone away
Nobody wants to face the truth
But you wont believe what love can do
Till it happens to you
Till it happens to you

Went to the old flat
Guess I was trying to turn the clock back
How come that nothing feels the same now when I'm with you
We used to stay up all night in the kitchen
When our love was new
Oooh love I'm a fool to believe in you
Cause I don't know
No I don't knowAnymore

It used to feel like heaven
It used to feel like may
I used to hear those violins playing heart strings like a symphony
Now they've gone away
Nobody wants to know the truth
Until their hearts broken
Don't you dare tell them
What you think to doTill they get over
You can only learn these things
From experience
When you get older
I just wish that someone would have told me
Till it happens to you
Till it happens to you
Till it happens to you

night peoples

Pecking order

i was going through my usuall routine this morning of cheecking all my online stuff and read a post of someone i follow, (its ok people i stay 20ft away at all times).

So a little while ago i decided to see what would happen if i stalked (followed) as sir almo and not anonymously.

anyway..... im reading through this post and left my comments only to realise a section down the bottom that had my little head in it and thought "what is this????"
.
.

Minions/Followers/Loyal Subjects

.
.
so apparently im no longer the king of my domain. kicked off my high horse to be replaced droped in rank to minion.......

minion???

thats like being that guy that the horses step on so they dont get their hooves muddy when walking outside,
.

Shame...

Shame on you!!!

.

no..... not really, i had the biggest laugh when i saw that... thank you (you know who you are) for brightening up my day :P

Being poetic??

i dont know if im being poetic but it rhymes and i wrote......... "something"........ that i think makes sense, at least to me anyway, so head to RSF and check it out

link in the side bar >>>-----(thatish way)----->>>

P.S

Bahahahaha!!!!!
i always wanted to say that by i dont make the videos, So this is the next best thing

Mmmmmmm!!!!!

Eating Cake

:)

Aren't I So Caring

FREE HUGS!!!!!

f

( only for anyone who wants one )

f

P.S

( if you don't want you dont have to have :P )

f

P.P.S

i has a new hat :D, will show you later

f

Bye....

My Last Resort

i have found that recently i spend way too much to doing nothing on the net when im actually meant to be doing things. i do actually end up doing them...... only at the eleventh hour (and then beyond). its a shame cause i know im good at this stuff its just that procrastination is so much more attractive and entertaining.

So....

~~~~My solution~~~~

after much deliberation with my skilled team, i came up with a solution only a great mind could come up with. a plan of such brilliance, style, class with a subtle hint of cockyness.

i created a study blog...

i "Plan" to use this blog to make sure that i regularly do all the things i need to. i havent got anything there at the moment (partial because i am writing this) but i am working on it. so have a read when there is stuff there you may learn something

(warning: subjects discussed in blog may contain high levels of maths, if you experience discomfort during the reading of this blog cease immediately, if discomfort persists, see you local mathematition)

I'm Yours, my Piano and Hats

so at the moment im learning the song im yours by jason mraz, well not so much learning as i am polishing it up a bit, but i cant sing that high and it is really annoying me that my voice cracks. i have this theory that the more i sing the song the more i will be able to sing those higher notes but in the mean time i may be annoying a few people :S, but thats ok cause i've never ever really followed what anyone said.

im also fixing my piano, i need to find some string, tough string like shoe lace string but thinner, then it will be complete, my masterpiece. a complete working piano that i can play and play and play some more. then i get to keep it :D

who's a happy chappy??

i believe that would be me

anyway on to the next thing. I used to wear this old trilby hat and below is a picture of some trilby hats just in case you didnt know what they were (dont worry, i didnt know either, i had to look it up).


anyway i used to have this old trilby hat that i wore everywhere or at least almost everywhere (as well as the drivers cap you may have seen in a previous post). it was awesome and unique and i loved it, But then all of a sudden it became fashionable to wear and all the stores stocked them...

:(

so much for uniqueness, i saw people wearing them everywhere i went.

T'was disgusting, Fashion, I spit on your grave .

so i stopped wearing it..... except for one day where i decided to take it out and just my luck it rained and i accidentally smooshed the hat so now i have a deformed hat :( . so now im am going to look for a new one.

the only thing is that i dont like the styles they use on these new fashionable hats

ahh well the search continues...

How Far Have I Come?

i dont know what i want to do

im almost 3/4 through my degree, im in control of a great philanthropic project.

But now i am not so sure what i want

What do i want to do??

i think it might be my fault that i feel overwhelmed by everything but i dont know how to get out of all of this. i have a tendency to over commit my self, i just dont know how to say no. it's such a silly thing to do. the problem now is that i want to escape but i dont want to let anyone down.

its unfair!!!!

i wish i could just stop time and take a break

but intsead it just seems like everything is speeding up and running away from me

ahh well

might as well go through with it now, the worst i could do is lose everything.

But atleast i tried

:)

ASSSSIGNMENTS (boring)

if anyone has had the chance of solving a four bar linkage by hand, you will know how fun it is. this is my holidays BTW. :( not happy jan...

my calculator, i have been told is a hit with the ladies, maybe i should start taking it out with me. i can show them all the functions, and everyone will be as excited about solving matricies and plotting graphs the posibilities are endless.

Its too bad i cant take matlab with me, then i would pull a crowd.....

hmmm yes!!!!

anyway, back to assignmenting

Why always in 3's

everytime I go to have a look at my emails there are always 3 emails, doesn't matter how long i haven't checked it for (with in reason), there are always three.

????

This Is Scary

i came across this video today

the side bar says:

"A new report raises questions about a little known, yet problem-ridden process known as voter purging that could cost some Americans their right to vote."

now concidering the fact the that it is not compulsory to vote, this is very scary.

its a bit like taking a random sample of people and regarding that as a true representation of what the pulic wants, but then to go find out the some of the states are purging voters from their systems, one must think, if this country is supposed to one of the major powers in the world, why would they endorse a system that could

1. be easily be manipulated and taken advanage of
2. represent the people inadequately

it is scary, go watch the video see for your self Click Here