Don't you just wish??

alright here is another one of those things that sort of relates, the only difference is that this is i song i heard recently, that i remember so well, because i used to sing it to my last girlfriend. look how well that worked out...


jack johnsons Better together

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart,
our dreams, and they are made out of real things
like a shoebox of photographs
with sepia-toned loving
Love is the answer
at least for most of the questions in my heart, like
Why are we here?
And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together

Mmmm, It's always better when we're together
Yeah we'll look at the stars and we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments
just might find their way into my dreams tonight,
But I know that they’ll be gone
when the morning light sings
and brings new things
for tomorrow night you see
that they’ll be gone too,too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
i was somewhere in between
With only two,
Just me and you,
Not so many things we got to do
or places we got to be
We'll sit beneath the mango tree, now,

Yeah It's always better when we're together
Mmmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

mmmmmmm

I believe in memories
they look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
There is no, no song I could sing
and there is no combination of words I could say
but I will still tell you one thing
We're Better together

ok so you'll probably notice my song choices have been very heartbreak themed, let me tell you why..

it all started with my last girlfriend,we were the best of friends before we got together. it was something that just happened, it just came all together one day. you know spur of the moment thing. we spent no more than 4 days apart during this relationship. and it was awesome for like the first two years, but after that i think we had just been a couple too long cause everything was routine and we were having fights at all of that jazz that usuall people have. The most of all why can't you move in? and i thought why should i? i lived down the street from her. so i would be with her only i would be spending shitloads more to do it. i would be exactly the same distance from work and uni so i saw no benefit. anyway so it got to exam time and she says "oh mark is going to take me for a ride on his bike" (mark is/was her 47 year old flat mate)
i thought fine, you know i have to study for exams and all that. so skip forward a couple of days to the day before the exam which starts at 8:30 the next morning. this is the last chance to cram before the exam. she comes to my house crying just before i was about to leave and tells me that they had sex that morning and that she was really sorry

WTF???

why the hell would she come and tell me??? anyway so i sucked it up and said whatever i need to study and off i went, suprisingly it was a fairly productive day. but exam day i was a complete wreck i have no idea why i thought it was a good idea to go to the exam. i failed that subject miserably. anyway apparently we were still together and stuff and apparently thats what she really wanted, so i thought, ok she made a mistake, why not? big mistake number one.

i was going to portugal in week not to mention that it was our third aniversery in four days so we kept doing what we normally do, and it gets to that day i leave.. all hugs and kisses but just the thought of him and her had become etched into my mind, so for the month i was there i cried myself to sleep everyday i was there but she said she wanted it to work and i thought why shouldn't i believe her? big mistake number two

so while i was traveling across the country, i was collecting things to give her to tell her about all these places. anyway its the day i get back and i could not contain myself, i drove over there straight away with all my presents. when i got there she answered the door and said in these exact words

"ohhh!! what are you doing here?"

my heart sank...

but i thought we arrived early so she might not have expected me so early big mistake number three. she came out and had a look at all my stuff. you know hugs and kisses all around and them tells me they have been sleeping together while i was away....

i cant remember what happened after that, i had arrived one week into the semester so it was straight back to work. all i can remeber is further crying myself to sleep for the next months.

anyway, pretty much around the time i stopped feeling absolute shit she calls me and says i want to see you, cause she wants to be friends and blah blah blah...

and i believed her, my biggest mistake yet

but it kept going like that for months all through which she would say stuff like what if we got back together?

one day i just got rid of all her photos, clothes, messeges, contacts everything that i could find that belonged to her.

and thats it i saw a glimse of her once in the city since.


After all that i was emotionally screwed up.

unfortunately now everytime i meet someone i even remotely like, i shutdown and hide or make the biggest ass out of myself. and i have no friends that are girls, that i talk to all the time anymore and im becoming less and less able to hold a conversation with girls that dont know me.

ohh and for all those that know me as a big drinker, i was actually as dry as a bone before about the time that i got rid of all her stuff

so the lyrics i put in this post are actually a more love than heartbreak because i think im get my romantic back ;). as much as telling that story hurts (i'm tearing at the moment)

i have made a list, its sort of a love wish list. A combination of what i loved about being with someone and what i would like so ill put that up soon.

thank you for reading if you made it this far down
have a good night, sleep well, sweet dreams to all
hugs and kisses to all the girls and a manly hand shake for all the guys

Bahahahaha!!!